Hi it’s me again, love.
I was thinking more about the reason I call you love. I think that many, at least in our localized Western, english-speaking culture, feel that ‘love’ is just too familiar for most folks’ taste. It’s too intimate. I think that maybe love is easier to interpret, and far easier than some would imagine. I think to the people who scoff at me for believing that I can’t love everyone that crosses paths with me and my life for a fleeting moment, and that I don’t think about you, my blog, as a real person, or at least real people. And thus the love is real.
I won’t lie, I can’t guarantee I’m gonna like you if we meet, but I will always acknowledge the energy that flows through us, through the ground, and up into everyone else around us, connecting us; and love that it made you. You were developed by a strenuous process, sometimes by the truckload, sometimes by a village. No matter how you came here though, it was you who saw yourself through all those moments of the past to bring you to the present here, with me. I’m more than grateful for it, I love you for it. I love the fact that I get to know what it was like to be near you, and potentially connect with you, for a period of time in our lives. It’s a privilege beyond description.
Now, I wanted to do what a blogger actually does and blog a little, if I may. I think things have been good recently. For me, is what I mean. I’ve been admittedly a bit lonely and listless recently, and I wasn’t looking forward to a whole other year at UCSB, at least not with my heart. Recently though, I’ve been able to have the energy to not just stay on top of my work but be proactive and creating opportunities for myself, but also give energy to doing things I love. This has really provided a lot of relief- these past few days I have been deliberating more and more about some of my values and I realized I could lighten my load if I acknowledged or changed a few things.
I realized that I was actually grateful to be privileged with continuing the same circumstances here. I work hard, yes, but I also feel more and more like I belong, and I love having a place to call home. I realized many other things too but I won’t bore you.
I’m finally finishing up my Philosophy – Ethics class, which has kind of been a mixed bag. Although I don’t necessarily love the philosophical notion of ethics, what with the logical arguments and long construed texts, but I love learning and it wasn’t totally uninteresting. The professor wasn’t great though, unfortunately.
Thanks for listening (do i sign these??),
Tate
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