Hello my love,
Today was a good week. I started the week off by traveling to Yosemite Sunday-Monday with my partner Jasmine, it was absolutely wonderful. I had Summer classes, which were fine, and I also had research for all three of my research positions.
For SciTrek I made ~56 cause and effect statements and created a set of 5 first grade assessments using using them, that we’ll eventually use and implement into a SciTrek program for the first grade.
For CEA I continued to qualitative analyze responses- it’s getting pretty good!
For ACCESS Lab I mostly just worked on my honors thesis (read: tons and tons of readings).
At the beginning of last week I started taking a new medication for wakefulness and drive during the day, and I think it’s been really effective. I’m sure the placebo is doing lots for me, but the combination of drug and faith in the drug made the last two weeks comparatively much easier and much more attractive than the weeks leading up to them. Hopefully this medication continues to be useful. I don’t plan to use it for my entire life, but at least for the time when my health issues persist.
I’m doing my best to trust myself more, as well as be courageous enough to be my own vulnerable authentic self outside of the house. It’s pretty hard, but I think the more and more I practice the more I feel I deserve it. I think no matter what I individually struggle with, there are inalienable human rights that I believe we all have, and one of them is the right to be with oneself. I think it’s a lot easier to accept others than it is myself, but it’s okay because knowing is the first step to changing my behaviors.
Good luck with whatever you’ve got going on in your life right now. Whatever it is we must acknowledge it comes to us by sheer coincidence, and effort is an oar on a river rapids raft tour; you don’t have to be grateful of it all, but I hope that you can find ways to love it nonetheless. You are either in the bush, or heading into the bush. Choose the path with love because through it you can identify with and become one with the path.
Tate
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